I'm not going to deny it, I hate girls who can wake up looking beautiful, are motivated and driven for their futures, do not feel depressed and hate themselves when they see their own reflection in the mirror, and manage to have a great relationship with everyone around them.
IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR ARGHHHHHH.
okay yah you can argue, my pathetic excuse for grades are because I have zero motivation and I'm a lazy fuck. I TOTALLY deserve what I'm getting. I get it. I'm jealous of everyone who did not develop shitty study habits in their youth and can focus for long periods of time on a single subject. I'm jealous of those naturally smart girls who can pick up things the teacher says...therefore not needing to cram so hard the night before the exam. My genes are just not up to par.... nor are my habits.
If you look at it that way, I'm just too lazy to take care of my physical appearance. Look at this fat and lubby body. yah I could go jogging everyday and eat salads ...but when I'm depressed about school and shit I just want to eat okay. Comfort food ftw.
Which then results in the freshman 15....30...60.
Why am I not one of those girls who love sports and RUNS for god's sake when they're stressed. Why am I not one of those girls who have crazy fast metabolisms and eats all they want but are still as skinny as a stick. Born with naturally long legs, MODEL like height, and double eyelids.
They don't have to waste time working out or worrying everyday their taped double eyelids will suddenly become single in front of everyone. They can just wake up looking like a kpop idol everyday.
and those naturally social girls who do not suffer from social anxiety like me. Those girls who come from supportive and awesome families...those girls who are rich enough to not have to sweat about every little purchase. Girls who have boyfriends who become fiances and then husbands.
GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE DOLLS WHEN THEY COSPLAY. GIRLS WHO CAN WEAR THE CUTEST CLOTHES AND TOTALLY FIT THE IMAGE. GIRLS WHO CAN FLIP THEIR HAIR AND WEAR LEOPARD PRINT AND LOOK GODDAMN SEXY DOING IT. GIRLS WHO ARE ELEGANT AND POISED AND SUCCESSFUL. PHOTOGENIC GIRLS. ARTISTIC GIRLS. GIRLS WHO CAN DANCE WITHOUT TWO LEFT FEET. GIRLS WHO CAN SING. GIRLS WHO CAN BE WITTY AND CUTE AND SMART AT THE SAME TIME. GIRLS WHO CAN RIDE HORSES EVERYDAY AND STILL LOOK GLAM. GIRLS WHO ARE PATIENT AND LOVING WITH EVERYONE........I can go on forever.
WHYYYYYYYY. mebbe they were saints or something in a past life. Maybe I'm just surrounded by Mother Theresa and Gandhi. Well...nothing I can do about that. I bet I was a criminal in my past life, probably somebody hunted down and executed at the guillotine by the French revolutionists. And at this rate...I'm going to just turn into a cockroach in my next life.
okay okay I'll just stop complaining and go back to studying for my biology final. Studying brings out the ugly side in me.
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| filter my skin to death. |
